People need more than money to have a successful retirement, they also need emotional reserves, say experts.
We often don’t think about the psychological changes that come with retirement, like having to cope with the loss of your career identity, finding new ways to socialize and connect with others, spending more time with your romantic partner than ever before, and finding new and engaging ways to stay active and mentally sharp.
Delamontagne says that some retirees find the psychological transition to retirement to be difficult, experiencing anxiety, depression, and loss.
“People can go through hell when they retire and they will never say a word about it, often because they are embarrassed,” Delamontagne says. “The cultural norm for retirement is that you are living the good life.”
Research suggests that working or volunteering during retirement can help improve mental health, but only if the activity is meaningful to the individual.
Before retirement, it is just as important, if not more important, for people to spend time planning their social and psychological portfolios in order to figure out what will make them happy, according to James.
“Retirement is not like jumping off a diving board, it’s a process and it takes time,” she says. “There’s a lot of work people can be doing leading up to retirement to prepare for it.”
Why Is Retirement So Stressful?
Many of us have an idea of what we want our retirement to look like, whether it’s being able to travel, spending more time with loved ones, or pursuing hobbies. However, we often don’t think about the psychological effects that retiring from work can have.
After a few months of being retired, many people find that the novelty of being on “permanent vacation” starts to wear off. They may miss the sense of identity, purpose, and structure that came with their job, as well as the social aspect of having co-workers.
You may not feel as free, relaxed, and fulfilled as you thought you would in retirement. You may grieve the loss of your old life, feel stressed about how you’re going to fill your days, or worried about the toll that being at home all day is taking on your relationship with your spouse or partner. Some new retirees even experience mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.
Although retiring from work can be stressful, it can also bring benefits. Some studies have linked retirement to a decline in health. One ongoing study found that retired people are about 40 percent more likely to experience a heart attack or stroke than those who keep working.
Common challenges during retirement include boredom, a loss of identity, and feeling disconnected from others. There are some ways to help cope with the challenges of retirement, such as:
- Find new hobbies and activities to keep you busy
- Stay social and connected with friends and family
- Find ways to give back or volunteer in your community If you’re struggling with the transition to retirement, there are things you can do to make it more enjoyable.
- Find hobbies to keep you busy, stay social, and find ways to give back to your community.
Other challenges of retirement include:
- Struggling to “switch off” from work mode and relax, especially in the early weeks or months of retirement.
- Feeling anxious at having more time on your hands, but less money to spend.
- Finding it difficult to fill the extra hours you now have with meaningful activity.
- Losing your identity. If you’re no longer a doctor, teacher, designer, sales person, electrician, or driver, for example, who are you?
- Feeling isolated without the social interaction of being around your coworkers.
- Experiencing a decline in how useful, important, or self-confident you feel.
- Adjusting your routine or maintaining your independence now you’re at home with your spouse during the day.
- Some retirees even feel guilty about receiving money from a pension without directly working for it.
Don’t be afraid to face the challenges that come with preparing for a new chapter in your life. These tips can help reduce stress and anxiety, and find new meaning and purpose in life.
Though it’s something we all have to face eventually, change is seldom easy to deal with. As we age, it can feel like life is speeding up; our kids move out, we lose friends and loved ones, and we start to experience more physical and health problems. It’s not uncommon to have a range of complex and contradictory emotions in response to these changes.
You can make the transition from work to retirement just as you transition from childhood into adulthood.
- Adjust your attitude. Think of retirement as a journey rather than a destination. Allow yourself time to figure everything out—you can always change direction if necessary. You can also adjust your attitude by focusing on what you’re gaining, rather than the things you’re losing.
- Build resilience. The more resilient you are, the better you’re able to cope with challenges like retirement. You can improve the qualities of resiliency at any age to help you keep a healthy perspective when life is at its toughest.
- Acknowledge your emotions. There’s no “right” or “wrong” way to respond when dealing with a major life change, so don’t try to bully yourself into feeling a certain way about retirement. Whether you feel angry, sad, anxious, grief-stricken, or a mix of emotions, by acknowledging and accepting what you’re feeling, you’ll find that even the most intense or unpleasant emotions will soon pass. Talk to a close friend about what you’re going through, record your feelings in a journal, or use HelpGuide’s Emotional Intelligence Toolkit to better cope with your emotions.
- Accept the things that you can’t change. Railing against events that you have no control over can be as exhausting as it is futile. Whatever the circumstances of your retirement, by accepting them you can refocus your energy to the things that you do have control over, such as the way you choose to react to obstacles. Look back at examples where you’ve coped with changes in the past to remind yourself that you’ll be able to manage this change as well.
- Redefine your identity. Many of us define ourselves by what we do for a living. After retirement, you can find new ways of defining yourself through non-work-related activities and relationships. Where you were once an accountant, for example, you’re now a mentor, volunteer, grandparent, student, memoirist, or artist.
- Set new goals. You may have already achieved many of your professional goals in life, but it’s important to keep setting yourself new ones to strive towards. Having goals can energize you, provide a sense of purpose, and help to redefine your identity. Set goals that challenge and excite you and keep you moving forward in life. Many retirees find that now they’re no longer the family provider, they can focus more on their own hopes and dreams.
- Join a peer support group. Some senior service and other community organizations offer support groups for older adults making the transition into retirement. Talking to other people who understand what you’re going through can help reduce feelings of stress, anxiety, and isolation. Search for retirement groups in your area or on platforms such as meetup.com.
- Find part-time work after retirement. Another way to make retirement more of a gradual transition is to incrementally reduce the hours you work in your existing job, switch to a part-time job, or work for yourself in some capacity. As well as providing purpose, part-time employment can also supplement your income, keep you socially engaged, and ease the adjustment to retirement without you having to endure the demands of full-time work.
- Volunteer. Donating your time and effort to a cause that’s important to you can add meaning and a sense of accomplishment to your retirement life, as well as benefit your community. Volunteering can help expand your social network, boost your self-worth, and improve your health. It can also be a great opportunity to pass on some of the skills you’ve learned during your professional life—or learn new skills, keeping your brain active as you age.
- Adopt a relaxation practice. Regularly practicing a relaxation technique such as meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, deep breathing, yoga, or tai chi can help ease anxiety and stress, lower your blood pressure, and improve your overall sense of well-being.
- Get active. Physical exercise is a very effective way to boost your mood, relieve tension and stress, and help you feel more relaxed and positive as you get older. No matter your age or limitations in mobility, there are still ways for you to reap the benefits of regular exercise. Aim for 30 minutes of activity on most days.
- Practice gratitude. It can sound simplistic when you’re in the midst of a major life change, but noting the things you’re grateful for is a quick and easy way to improve your mood and outlook. Take a moment to appreciate the small things in life, whether it’s a phone call from a friend, a moving piece of music, or the feeling of the sun on your face, for example.
- Spend time in nature. Spending time in green spaces can relieve stress, put a smile on your face, and deepen your sense of well-being. Try hiking, fishing, camping, or walking in a park, along a beach, or through the woods.
- Break the worry habit. Chronic worrying is a mental habit that you can learn how to break. By challenging your anxious thoughts and learning to accept uncertainty in life, you can calm your anxious mind, look at life in a more balanced way, and reduce the time you spend worrying.
The Pursuit Of Happiness
Horner’s research found that retirees experience a “sugar rush” of well-being and life satisfaction directly after retirement, followed by a sharp decline in happiness a few years later.
More research is needed on what causes a person’s mood to crash and how psychologists can help prolong the sugar rush, she says. With people living longer, even if the retirement age is pushed back, people will still spend a lot of time retired. We need to figure out a way to maximize people’s happiness.
According to Delamontagne, the years leading up to retirement should be a time to increase your self-awareness. He found that people who are competitive and assertive have more difficulty adjusting to retirement.
The things that make people successful in their careers are often the same things that prevent them from being successful in retirement, according to him.
Delamontagne states that it is beneficial for retirees to anticipate the emotional challenges they may face. He states that by being aware of potential problems, retirees can develop solutions in advance.
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